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THE BARE ESSENTIALS OF A KISSABLE FACE
MEN EVERYWHERE have resorted to a diabolical ritual and accepted their fate of shaving. They stumble out of bed every morning in order to perform the arduous task of shaving their sensitive visage. And if the follicles are extra healthy, they get to do it all over again just as the 5 o'clock shadow breaks out into a nightlife of it's own. Who in the world invented this crazy task? Well, depending how far back you want to go, there was Alexander the Great who ordered his troops to be clean-shaven so that the enemies couldn't grab them by their beards. Later on during the 18th century it was none other than those incredibly heteroclite, aristocratic, Frenchmen who began cutting their beards into various shapes and configurations, using hot water and a straight edge.
Of course it would be foolish for a man to invest in his physical appearance, donning only the most exquisite attire and then ignoring the quintessential grooming needs. I ask you, would it not be a crime to make such an endeavour as pleasurable as possible?
The trend is the same. As soon as the mojo gets going the facial hair starts going wild and boys are turning either to their dad's or television for help. One of my clients tried shaving once and decided that the electric shaver was the way to go. He only had to hack away at his face once and emerged from the bathroom looking like he had just been in a knife fight. And then there are the issues of adolescent acne problems that a blade can only devolve to a massacre and open a few unstoppable bleeding wounds. Highly embarrassing before a first date.
Changing your facial hair is like changing you hairstyle. Depending on your genetic makeup, vitamins, skin type and whether you are in a sunny area, it is possible to only shave once a day or even once a week without having the girls feel like they are kissing an emery board. Since facial chafing gear is generally not in demand with the ladies for some passive-aggressive guys, if the beard is getting rougher, it could mean that he's not happy with the misses. I do have one client that could never grow a beard ever since he had a little incident where he was walking down the street looking at a beautiful woman and walked straight into a plate glass window. He now has a not so noticeable scar but any type of growth in that area comes in all wonky.
The limitless range of shaving products that has since emerged is literally mind-boggling. From pre-shave balms, oils, after-shave balms, bump oils, post-shave oils, shave creams, dry shave creams, wet shave creams, shave creams for bumps, after shave facial masks, lather-less shave creams, scented shave creams, scent-less creams, and so on. How do you know which one is right for you? Pick one. Apply as per instructions, and then shave the area with a new blade. If the product is a poor choice, then your test will leave you kicking and howling to some rap tunes.
Of course there is the alternative if you prefer blades and this would be to go the old fashioned route of proper shaving cream that now comes in Conair's compact hot lather machine with a hot gel cap. This method will excite and open your pores in order to remove the unwanted facial whiskers and give your face a self imposed facial orgasm. As far as blades go, the ever-popular Gillette's Mach Track 3 and now the new Schick Quattro is bragging that your 5 o'clock shadow will be showing up late. Apparently it even works on a dry face. The beard and moustache trimmer by Conair guarantees shameless coddling and constant comfort. Of course the comparison can be made with a women's legs. In fact The Travelling Tailor has an after shave product with fireweed and natural herbs that has been developed after years of research to instantly reduce the burn and irritation from shaving and will also make your skin baby soft. My clients that have tried it swear by it and some women have started to use it on their legs.
Another efficient grooming method would be the ever-popular electric shaver. In fact, I know of one man who enjoys his downtime in the car by always keeping one stashed under his car seat and shaves his way to his appointments.  Of course like everything else, if you want a great electric shaver it is important to go with a more expensive one. The heads of the electric shaver are meant to cut long hairs and the holes are there in order to reach in and cut the stubble closer. For some not so "fully awake men in the morning", electric is a safer way to a successfully smashing smooth look.
Today's trendy facial hairstyle is either well-groomed soft growth or clean-shaven. A man can chisel his looks by facing skincare like a man and getting creative. As one of my clients said, "The nice thing about hair is that it always grows back". So go ahead and get trimming, you just might like what you see in the mirror.
What your whiskers say about you:
- Clean-shaven – obviously loves to be kissed
- Goatee – part of the tickle factor
- Trimmed moustache coming around the mouth – bad boy look
- Neatly trimmed half beard – sexy and sensitive
- Facial hair design – creative and fun loving
- Extensive moustache – great for leftovers and remembering your lover
- Full on beard – wind lover and survivor mode i.e., motorcycler or boater
- Hockey face – not to be mistaken for Darwin's theory
- All around over grown facial hair – Darwin's theory lives – not to be trusted – there is something he is not telling you.
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